


Four Steps On Dealing (Or Not) With Dumbass

by Damnitremy



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen, Hope you enjoy, I Don't Even Know, No Nudity, Or not, Pepper Fucking Potts, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter is a Little Shit, Snarky Narrator, This Is STUPID, Tony is stupid, Why Did I Write This?, i curse so what, i honestly don't know why you would read this, im so tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 15:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17368442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damnitremy/pseuds/Damnitremy
Summary: Stupid gibberish I wrote in the middle of the night. I think it's about Peter's four-step program on how to deal with dumb superhero fathers fighting stupid aliens in a hunk of stupid metal. Honestly, you can figure out your own background, if you want Peter to be adopted or be Tony's bio son, I don't care. could be Pepperony, it's short. I had a great and detailed story plot then my computer deleted it all. Yay life. So now you get this.





	Four Steps On Dealing (Or Not) With Dumbass

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, please kudos this. If anyone wants me to I could write a different chapter on a different way anyone from marvel finds out about Tony's secret son.

It was a normal day for Peter until it wasn't. Admittedly, the moment aliens decide to attack your city, all shit hit the fan. And Peters anxiety skyrocketed too. Because one minute you're sitting in your room watching Star Wars reruns and stuffing your face with old pizza, and the next you're listening to your normally perfectly composed mother freak out about the fact that your dumbass dad decided to go fight aliens with a hunk of stupid metal. And for a fleeting second, you regret this whole Secret-Son-of-a-Billionaire thing, cause now you're imagining what life could be if you didn't live with Tony Fucking Stark and Pepper fucking Potts. It would definitely be less taxing on your nerves, that's for sure. But then you remember how dull and humdrum that would be. And I promise I'm not lying, it's all the irreversible truth of Peter Stark's (alias: Parker) life.

Okay, now as the narrator of this stupid-ass story, I can see how you might find this a little far-fetched, but for the worried fifteen-year-old, it was all far, far, far too real. Please feel me sighing. Thank you.

Next, after feeling your debilitating worry (stage one) you might feel a debilitating urge to help. At least that's what it was for Peter, and for now, his is the only story I'm telling, sadly. And as Peter, I mean you, (trying to keep with the theme here) stared out of your uncommonly high windows to see weird thing causing wreckage on your city, you think of how you could help if your pesky (just kidding, Pepper's a lifesaver) mother wasn't keeping a hawks eye on you. Is that the correct term, I'm honestly not sure. Anyway, you think of how your spider abilities could help save something or someone. Or maybe you could at least make sure your dad is okay because lord knows Tony Stark has no ounce self-preservation. 

The news played as a constant in the background during stage two, A bunch of mindless, brainless, idiotic imbeciles-- Okay, okay, I get it, I need to take a chill pill. I went too far, reporters aren't that bad. And they're just doing their jobs. I know, I know. Now back to the matter at hand, I do believe we were discussing Peter's futile attempts at wishing things better and we are now on stage three: denial.

Just like every other step system, denial is one of them. This denial is no the kind where you refuse to acknowledge the existence of something but simply where you refuse to acknowledge the possibility of anything ending badly. Nope, now you're Optimist McGee, or whatever.

Last is just: AAAAHHHHHH! In which your heart is beating very fast and you are near the end of your four-step program. In Peter's case, it just happened to be a missed phone call and a flight into a creepy-ass worm whole. Let's just say this stage is different for everyone. As you can imagine, Peter'd be feeling pretty sucky. I couldn't possibly understand why, (hint: sarcasm). Cause, you know, believing that your dad is dead and/or floating through infinite space only to never be recovered aren't the most uplifting and comforting things to think, duh. And then seeing your father coming back to life (sorta). Emotional rollercoaster.

But you can't help but climb back down to stage one as you start worrying about the damages under the flashy, dumb suit. Like I said: debilitating. It's a debilitating circle of debilitating feelings and now, unapologetically this time, you bitch and whine about how you wish that, just for a second, you had a semi- (only semi cause we wouldn't want to be basic) normal life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, please kudos this. If anyone wants me to I could write a different chapter on a different way anyone from marvel finds out about Tony's secret son.


End file.
